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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096805">Numbness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsyofchaos/pseuds/whimsyofchaos'>whimsyofchaos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Game: Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Kingdom Hearts III, Science family for the win, basement trio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:55:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsyofchaos/pseuds/whimsyofchaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobodies can't feel anything...right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Numbness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You have no heart. You feel nothing.</em>
</p><p><br/>
Those were the words he’d heard so many times during the past ten years; a mantra that was repeated over and over again. It was what he was saying to himself right now and yet, that didn’t stop the way his chest tightened when he saw flames engulf one of his former caretakers.</p><p><br/>
<em>I have no heart. I feel nothing.</em>
</p><p><br/>
He watched, unable to turn himself away as Vexen’s form simply faded away into nothingness. After Axel disappeared and the Keyblade Wielder moved on, Zexion turned and walked out of the room, leaving Lexaeus to stare after him silently. When Zexion reached his study, he sat down at his desk and pulled out his journal. <br/>
Why was Axel doing this? Why eliminate Vexen? It must have been a directive from Saïx. But did they all not seek to gain from the fruits of Vexen’s research? </p><p><br/>
As Zexion finished writing and lifted his hand from the page, he stopped mid motion. He stared down at his right hand almost curiously; he was shaking. Zexion pondered why his hand was shaking; he <em>should</em> have enough sugar in his blood. As he sat there trying to decipher why he was shaking, he noticed that he was having trouble breathing; his chest felt so tight. Asthma? Allergic reaction? Those were possible explanations but they made no sense in this context. When Zexion felt wetness on his cheeks, he reached a hand up and wiped a bit of the liquid onto his glove before studying it. Tears?  Why was he crying? He couldn’t be crying. He couldn’t feel sadness. </p><p><br/>
<em>I have no heart. I feel nothing.</em>
</p><p><br/>
But the tightness in his chest, the way his body shook, the way his vision blurred from fresh tears, all of it didn’t go away. </p><p><br/>
<em>I have no heart. I feel nothing.</em>
</p><p>“I believe it is in your best interest to stay here for the moment.” Zexion huffed in exasperation as Lexaeus crossed his arms and stared at him.</p><p><br/>
Why was the man so insistent on getting answers? Vexen was gone; that’s all they needed to know. Yet Lexaeus was restless and acting like he was angry. The Cloaked Schemer had to stop himself from scoffing at the idea. Yes, Vexen’s loss was unfortunate, but putting on an act of discountenance? They had far more important matters at hand to occupy their minds. </p><p><br/>
When Zexion returned to the monitoring room and found Lexaeus missing, he calmly went over to the orb standing in the center. He couldn’t stop his lips from curving into a frown when he saw that Lexaeus was currently engaged in battle with Riku. A twinge of what would’ve been annoyance, if he’d had a heart, coursed through him as he mulled over the fact that Lexaeus had defied his request not to get into fights.  </p><p><br/>
“You’re finished!” Riku shouted as he ran at Lexaeus to land the final blow.</p><p><br/>
“DON’T MOCK ME!” Lexaeus all but screamed as he slammed Skysplitter into Riku and threw the boy up into the ceiling. Riku’s back hit the ceiling hard and his unconscious body fell limply to the floor.</p><p><br/>
Lexaeus had won, as expected. Zexion couldn’t say he was thrilled that the Hero of Darkness had fallen, as he was quite the interesting specimen, but he’d become quite the nuisance. As Lexaeus made his way over to Riku to end the boy’s life, darkness surrounded Riku and he dawned his Dark Form. Zexion felt his brows raise as Riku rose from the floor again. After an attack from Lexaeus like that, Riku could still fight? The Hero of Darkness was full of all kinds of tricks it seemed. In an instant however, Zexion’s smirk was replaced with a deep frown as Lexaeus was cleaved in half. </p><p><br/>
“You are the Superior’s-? Forgive me, Zexion, this was a fight I should not have started.” Lexaeus muttered solemnly as he looked seemingly directly into Zexion’s eyes.</p><p>In that moment, if he had not have known any better, Zexion could’ve <em>sworn</em> that he saw genuine grief and fear on the older man’s face.</p><p><br/>
And then he was gone.<em> Gone</em>. Before he could stop himself, the orb in front of him was violently shoved off of its pedestal. Zexion went to the tables nearby, flipping them and their contents onto the floor. He threw a few chairs against the wall with all his might before letting out a scream and falling to his hands and knees. The tightness in his chest was worse than before and he couldn’t see anything as he was blinded by hot tears. It hurt. <em>It hurt</em>. </p><p><br/>
<em>I have no heart. I feel nothing. I have no heart. I feel nothing. I have no heart-.</em>
</p><p><br/>
Zexion clenched his fists tightly and grit his teeth so hard that his jaw began to ache. Riku would<em> pay</em> for what he’d done.</p><p>A cry left Zexion after he felt Riku’s Keyblade slice through him. Despite the searing pain coursing through his body, Zexion was able to flee using a corridor of darkness. He hoped his performance had been convincing enough and Riku now thought him dead. As Zexion shuffled out of the dark corridor and braced himself against a familiar basement wall, confused thoughts raced through his mind.</p><p><br/>
“What <em>is</em> he?!” He spoke aloud, to no one, “No one’s <em>ever</em> worn the darkness the way that he does! It’s impossible!” His left hand balled into a fist and was slammed into the wall as he spoke the last words.</p><p><br/>
Just then, Zexion caught wind of a scent and glanced over to his right. <em>Riku was standing there</em>. The Illusion Master gasped loudly and pressed his back to the wall as panic and fear, <em>genuine</em> fear, completely overtook his senses. His physical heart pounded in his chest and his breathing was quick as adrenaline raced through his veins. After a moment, Zexion realized that the scent didn’t match the real Riku’s; this was the Replica. It was then that he noticed Axel was standing behind the boy; good, so he had help.</p><p><br/>
“Oh…Oh, yes. The Replica of course.” Zexion sighed in relief as he recomposed himself, “We can use this Riku to defeat the real one.” He turned his attention to the redhead, “Axel?”</p><p><br/>
“Wouldn’t you like to be real?” Axel asked the Replica, completely ignoring Zexion’s words. <br/>
The Replica only nodded in response.</p><p><br/>
“All you need is the kind of power that the real Riku doesn’t have.” Axel continued, “If you can get that, you can be a new person- not Riku, nor anybody else. You won’t just be a copy of someone. You will be unique, your <em>own</em> self.”</p><p><br/>
Zexion’s eyes widened in shock at those words, “Axel! What are you saying to him?!”</p><p><br/>
“You know, here’s as good a place to start as any.” The Flurry of Dancing Flames replied, his attention still on the Replica.</p><p><br/>
“You can’t do this!” </p><p><br/>
Those were the last words that left the Cloaked Schemer’s lips as he felt a hand, a surprisingly <em>strong</em> hand, wrap around his neck and lift him into the air. As Zexion’s hands instinctively clamped around the Replica’s in an effort to pry himself free, he came to a sudden realization. There was no denying it now.</p><p><br/>
<em>I have a heart. I do feel. </em>
</p><p><br/>
Tears streamed down Zexion’s face as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. All these years, these ten <em>long</em> years, he’d been lied to. No, the lies had started right when Xehanort had become an apprentice, and they’d simply continued even after he became Xemnas. Looking back, he should have known. When Vexen talked to him, he often felt annoyed and irritated. Now that the blonde was dead he could only feel remorse for treating him so terribly and for pushing him away. He’d felt angry when Lexaeus had fallen, that he’d defied the orders he’d been given. Yet in the end, the anger wasn’t<em> really</em> directed at Lexaeus, it was directed at himself for <em>allowing</em> this to happen. He never had a chance to apologize, he'd never gotten to say goodbye,<em> to either of them</em>. Zexion would’ve let out a bitter laugh if he could, but his world was slowly fading into darkness, again. </p><p>The next thing he knew, he was gasping. He took in as much air as he possibly could, and he opened his eyes. His gaze darted around the room, quickly taking in his surroundings. The Replica was gone. He wasn’t in the basement of Castle Oblivion anymore. He was…in the castle in Hollow Bastion? Why was he here? Didn’t he…die? He began to push himself up off of the floor, but froze once he heard a familiar voice.</p><p><br/>
“Ienzo?”</p><p><br/>
Ienzo frantically scrambled backwards, adrenaline once again racing through him, and Lea’s eyes widened in shock as the distance between them was increased. When Ienzo’s back hit the wall, he stared at Lea, fully expecting the other man to kill him. </p><p><br/>
“Hey easy, don’t wanna hurt yourself.” Lea began as he took a tentative step towards the frightened man, but when Ienzo pressed himself against the wall further, Lea stopped his advance. With a dejected sigh, Lea mumbled an apology before leaving the room. </p><p><br/>
Ienzo stood there for what seemed like an eternity, debating whether or not he should move. Finally, he reached a hand out and willed the Book of Retribution to appear, and when it did, a wave of relief washed over him. He was well enough to summon his weapon, which meant he could defend himself if “Axel” chose to attack. Pushing off of the wall, Ienzo cautiously peaked around the corner of the doorway, looking for any signs of Lea. When he deemed the hallway clear, Ienzo began exploring the hallways of the place he’d once called home. He completely came to a halt however, when his eyes locked with Aeleus’. The guard was standing on the other end of the hallway, frozen in place just as Ienzo was. </p><p><br/>
Ienzo’s legs moved before he knew what was happening, and Aeleus’ strong arms wrapped around him as Ienzo reached him. Ienzo sobbed uncontrollably into Aeleus’ chest, muttering “I’m sorry” over and over and over again. A hand stroked Ienzo’s hair softly as Aeleus did his best to comfort him. </p><p><br/>
“What’s happening?” Ienzo queried through his sobs, “Why are we-? Didn’t we-?”</p><p><br/>
“We’re complete again.” Aeleus answered as he pushed Ienzo back and allowed him to wipe away his tears, “We’re free.”</p><p><br/>
Ienzo stared up at the taller man, now noticing that Aeleus had been crying as well. </p><p><br/>
“Dilan and Even are resting, their conditions aren’t yet stable.” Aeleus continued, “I was coming to take you to your room, but I’m glad you’re awake.”</p><p><br/>
“IENZO?! AELEUS?!” A voice called loudly as frantic footsteps followed, reverberating through the empty hallways. </p><p><br/>
Ienzo and Aeleus exchanged a look before nodding and running towards the source of the voice. As Ienzo ran through the halls he slammed into a body and they toppled onto the floor together. The moment Even realized that it was Ienzo who’d run into him, he embraced the younger man, holding him tightly. In an instant, a much more muscular set of arms embraced them both and the three of them sobbed uncontrollably. </p><p><br/>
“You’re alive.” Even choked as tears of joy fell down his cheeks, “I-I’m sorry, I-I-!” </p><p><br/>
Ienzo shushed Even as the man stammered; too overcome by these emotions, emotions he hadn’t felt properly in ten <em>years</em>, to properly think. </p><p><br/>
“I won’t allow anyone to hurt you again.” Even finally managed to speak as he cupped Ienzo’s face, “I<em> promise</em>.”</p><p><br/>
“I’m sorry.” Ienzo croaked as he looked between Even and Aeleus, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, for what I said, for pushing you away, for acting like I didn’t care. I do. I always did. You are my family and I swear I won’t lose you a third time.”</p><p><br/>
“We won’t lose you either.” Aeleus chimed in as he squeezed the other two men a bit more tightly before loosening his grip.</p><p><br/>
<strong>
    <em>We have hearts. We do feel.</em>
  </strong>
</p>
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